4 Steps to Helping Your Child Overcome Executive Functioning Challenges
Is your child struggling with focus, planning, or starting tasks? Learn how to support your child’s executive functioning with strategies that go beyond planners and pomodoro timers.
When your child has a hard time staying focused, starting homework, or managing their emotions after a long school day, you may wonder: Is this just a phase—or something deeper?
Often, these challenges point to difficulties with executive functioning—the mental skills children (and adults!) use to plan, prioritize, manage time, and regulate behavior. These are critical for school success, but they don’t always come naturally, especially for kids with ADHD, anxiety, or learning differences. Even a poor night’s sleep or emotional overwhelm can throw off a child’s ability to stay on task.
As a parent, you may have already tried planners, reward charts, or time-blocking apps. While those tools can help, they often miss the root issue. Real change starts with understanding why your child struggles—and how to build supports around their unique brain.
Step 1: Understand the Real Challenge
Start by identifying where your child gets stuck. Is it:
Getting started on assignments?
Switching between tasks?
Handling frustration when things get tough?
For many kids, the hardest part is simply initiating a task. Dr. Tamara Rosier, ADHD expert and author, suggests asking:
“What’s making this hard to start?”
Your child might be overwhelmed, unsure of the steps, or afraid of making a mistake. Help them break the task into tiny, manageable pieces, and look for the simplest way to begin.
Step 2: Use Supportive, Not Stressful Strategies
Holding everything in their head isn’t working for your child—and it doesn’t have to. Try:
Writing down steps together
Talking it through before starting
Working alongside them (a technique called “body doubling”)
Even pairing homework with soft music or a favorite snack can reduce stress and increase focus.
Step 3: Set Up an Environment That Works With Your Child
Executive functioning struggles aren’t just about your child’s effort—they’re also about their environment. Consider:
Giving regular breaks between tasks
Avoiding overscheduling
Setting routines that reduce last-minute stress
External tasks when possible (like a tutor or mentor)
It’s also helpful to explain your child’s needs to teachers or coaches. You might say: “He’s working on getting started with less support. A visual checklist helps.”
Step 4: Model Self-Compassion
Many kids feel like they’re “bad” at school or “lazy,” especially if they’re constantly being corrected. Reframe the narrative:
“Your brain works differently—and that’s okay. We’ll figure out what helps.”
Psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman reminds us that these kids aren’t careless. They’re navigating a disconnect between what they want to do and what their brain lets them do easily.
A mantra to live by:
“One step at a time, one thing at a time.”
